I spent last Tuesday thru Saturday with my family by Carrie's side. My brother-in-law, Jay, tried to warn me of her state-of-being, but nothing could prepare someone for what I saw. My sister wasn't in that hospital bed. I have had people in my life pass from this disease, but never have I seen their last days. It is an awful, awful illness. It isn't fair to those it has taken from this earth. When I first got to the hospital I thought maybe this "rally" of family and friends would bring us a miracle and she would recover...just maybe. After a few days and reading some material the hospital gave us, I realized that we were just helping my sister get to "the other side".
This past September Carrie was here in TN visiting all of us, meeting her nephews for the first time. She was in remission and looking beautiful. Maybe I was in denial of it all, but I just didn't feel that it was her time to leave. I knew she would fight this and I felt this the whole way through.
I have had my moments; I was pretty numb through the past week but whenever I think of never talking to my sister again or arguing with her (we were great at that!) or the fact that my children will never know their aunt it breaks my heart; selfish thoughts I guess. My brother-in-law has lost the love of his life; I can't begin to imagine where he is with all of this.
This whole process makes you think about your entire life and what you want to do going forward. Life truly is too short. Live for today, right?
While I was in Wisconsin for 4.5 days, Jason was home alone with the kids. I have some wonderful, truly amazing girlfriends from my old job that stepped up and took care of my family by providing food while I was gone. Thank you all so much for everything. I love you all so much. Thank you to everyone that reached out, your support and love means the world.
I don't even know how to end this blog...
I miss her already. I love you Carrie and Rest In Peace...
I have been sitting here for an hour after reading your blog trying to think of a comment to post. The only thing I can think of is to repeat what you said. Life really is to short. Live for today, for tomorrow may never come. Your post was beautiful Summer.
ReplyDeleteI Love You
Dad
Words cannot say how sorry I am for your family's tremendous loss, life certainly is too short and also incredibly unfair. Our thoughts & prayers are with you all.
ReplyDeleteWith love & sorrow,
-The Stevelt-Mitchells (big fans of your boys & your blog)
Summer,
ReplyDeleteI lost my sister in 1987 and still miss her to this day. You never get over losing someone you love so dearly. I know you have many memories of Carrie that you will cherish the rest of your life and you will make sure that your little guys will know who their Aunt Carrie was. As long as you do that her life will live on.
God gives us only a short time on this earth and we must make the most of it because eternity is so much longer. We are but a vapor, a whisp in the wind. Let Carrie live strongly in all of you.
I wish there was something I could say to ease your pain, but there are no words. I love you and am thinking of you and praying for you, your parents, and Jay.
Hugs,
Judi
I still hear her laugh, re-read some old e mails that i saved over time and still hear her after a conversation saying to me in reference to my wife, who was once a coworker at Eutectic "tell my girl" hello. I miss her presence, but cherish her friendship. Patty and I love you girl.
ReplyDeleteJim Ryan / Memphis Tn.